News
Wales 2021
We managed to squeeze in 2 group outings to Wales in 2021 within the restrictions of Covid lockdown and travel constraints. We were lucky to enjoy excellent warm and sunny biking conditions for the first 5 day 'Break out of Lockdown' trip from Thursday 27th May to Monday 31st May. Then another spur of the moment outing from Thursday 2nd September to Sunday 5th September when again we were fortunate to be met with great riding conditions.
Los Cojones 'Black Forest Gateaux' Tour May 16th to 24th 2020.
Sadly cancelled due to Covid-19 lockdown :-(
Thursday 12th December - It's 'Brexit' Election Day & Los Cojones Christmas Dinner 2019
Hermanos Perez
The Pres requests the pleasure of your company on Thursday 12th December at The Red Lion for the Annual Christmas Dinner and renewal of vows.
Non attendance will be seen as serious disrespect and miscreants will suffer consequences matching the misdemeanor including loss of club priviledges.
Meet at 7:00 pm for 7:30 pm.
Autumn Benelux Jaunt 2019
Four countries in 4 days! Leaving on Friday 25th September via Eurotunnel Folkestone to Calais 10:50 am. Returning Monday 30th Calais to Folkstone at 15:20 pm.
On Friday we head for Hôtel Château de la Marlière at Fourmies, set in the l'Avesnois National Park region of France. Saturday we continue to La Maison Hotel in Saarlouis in the Saarland region of Germany. Built as a fortress in 1680 it was named after Louis XIV of France. Sunday will take us from Germany through Luxembourg into the Ardennes region of Belgium where we stay at Hotel Martin's Château du Lac South East of Brussels. Monday sees us return from Brussels to Calais for the Eurotunnel back to Folkstone and on back to the Hood.
An unfortunate start to the trip when it was discovered that the Presidente's bike was leaking oil onto the back wheel. Good it was found sooner rather than later but sadly forcing an early return home.
Also No Knees was struck down with a nasty virus meaning two of the original six were disappointingly unable to take part.
The remaining team enjoyed a good if sometimes damp ride.
Unidentified flying objects
Cojones Balkan Blast Tour - May 2019
A team of 5 Cojones flew out to Zagreb on Friday 10th to pick up rental bikes in readiness for the much anticipated Balkan Blast Tour. The intrepid Black Sheep rode out alone from the UK but sadly Road Master and No-Knees were forced to pull out last minute.
Early on riders were met by stormy wet conditions with fallen trees blocking the road and even snow at higher levels. The Prez even suffered a puncture which was thankfully fixed on the road by the Black Sheep together with the ingenuity of Hands Off.
Blasting around the Balkans with the Los Cojones crew. Very bad hotels and very good hotels. Very good weather and very bad weather. The most amazing roads and some horrors. Life is an adventure!
Pre-trip Curry Night - Tuesday 7th May 2019
Meet at the Bridge for lubrication followed by curry at the Spice of Night.
Final thoughts on Balkan Blast Summer Tour after the unfortunate and shocking news that Roadmaster's GS has been stolen.
Cojones Brothers are distressed to learn that very sadly Roadmaster is unable to join the tour.
Not only a blow for him but his customary impeccable route guidance, on which we heavily rely, will be sorely missed. We might end up in Uzbekistan!
Curry Night -Thursday 21st March 2019
Meet at the Bridge (7:15 pm) as usual for lubrication followed by curry at the Spice of Night.
Discussion of upcoming Balkan Blast trip kicking off Friday 10th May 2019. T-shirts have been mentioned and further supplies of 'Joey' stickers.
Roadmaster working on trip T-shirts and will organise further supply of stickers for mass saturation. When will he have time for the 'day job'? :-)
Balkan Blast - Hotel Locations
Balkan Blast - Saturday 11th May to Saturday 18th May 2019
We fly out to Zagreb on Friday 10th May, pick up bikes and set out on Saturday to follow a circular route with some epic biking roads through Slovenia, Croatia and Boznia arriving back in Zagreb on Saturday 18th May.
Overnight stops in Izola, Senj, Sibenik, Hvar, Dubrovnic, Srajevo, Banja Luka
Curry Night -Thursday 31st January 2019
Meet at the Bridge for lubrication followed by curry at the Spice of Night.
Further discussion of route and hotel options for the Croatia Summer Tour 2019.
Feliz Navidad desde Hermanos Perez
Tuesday 18th December - Christmas dinner 2018
Hermanos Perez
Il Presidente requests the pleasure of your company on Tuesday 18th December at The Brown Dog for the Annual Christmas Dinner and renewal of vows.
Non attendance will be seen as serious disrespect and miscreants (apart from the walking wounded) will suffer consequences matching the misdemeanor including loss of club priviledges.
Dinner at 7:30 pm.
Cojones head to the Moroccan Sand Dunes
Saturday 1st December to Saturday 8th December 2018
The intrepid Reverend Perez along with Sergeant at Arms set out for an off-road adventure to the mighty dunes of Merzouga, the Berber area of Saharan Southeastern Morocco.
Proposed Summer 2019 Trip
Saturday 11th May to Sunday 19th May
Suggestions so far are either Croatia or Portugal. Prez pereferring Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia circuit. 'Pie Shagger' is required to arrange a properly reliable touring bike if considering this trip!
No more burnt out fuses, flat batteries or bikes that burst into flames! By direct order of Il Presidente
Belgium and Luxembourg Jaunt 2018
Shuttle from Folkstone to Calais on Friday 12th October 2018, returning Monday 15th October. 6 started out, 1 retired early when bike burst into flames !! and 5 completed the task.
Quick blast out for first overnight stop in Spa and then hoping for some good weather to find some great roads through the Ardennes in Belgium and Luxembourg.
'Pie Shagger's pristine Paul Smart Ducati 900 bursts into flames and stops M25 traffic for a while after returning from Folkstone with flat battery issues!
A pleasant warm autumn evening was spent in Spa where the local bandsmen provided an exciting dash of local colour. Several bottles of fine red wine were quaffed not to mention a number of 'Wife Beaters'.
However on Saturday 'Hands Off' had booked a complete shithole by a motorway somewhere west of Luxembourg, where we were served sumptuous microwaved food by a dwarf.
In the end it was all to much for 'Hands Off'and he was left for dead on the roadside.
It is believed Sunday night was spent in Leuven at the elegant Hotel Martin's Klooster although there is no photographic evidence to prove it! Although that could be it with the lonesome Stella sitting outside.
An excellent weekend with some great riding in warm dry conditions with beautiful blue, sunny European skies.
Los Cojones 'Italian Job' Tour 2018
The 'Italian Job' Tour 2018 kicks off on Wednesday 6th June and as usual Road Master has devised a superb route out through France and Switzerland to Corvara in the Italian Dolomites for a round trip of around 2400 miles. Excitement is mounting!
(Day1) Wednesday 6th June 5 of us take the Eurotunnel and head to Metz for our first night at Mercure Metz Centre.
(Day 2) We move on to Lucern passing through the scenic Vosges region and stay at Hotel Monopol.
(Day 3) Next stop St. Moritz where we stay two nights and are joined by the 3 flying out to Geneva. We follow the Klausen and Splügen passes on the way staying at Hotel Reine Victoria
(Day 4) We take in the Flüela, Umbrail and Livigno passes returing to St. Moritz.
(Day 5) We head out for Hotel Kolfuschgerhof in Corvara where we spend 3 nights, negociating the Baracche Del Braulio on the way.
(Day 6) Exploring the area including the Giau and San Boldo passes as well as the scenic Lago del Mis.
(Day 7) Another day exploring the area including the San Pellegrino and Rolle passes in the San Martino di Castrozza area.
(Day 8) Leaving Corvara we move on to Hotel Seehof in Davos for the night taking in the Flüela pass along the way.
(Day 9) From Davos 4 of us move on to the charming medieval town of Colmar staying at Hostellerie Le Marechal, while others go further into deepest Eastern Europe for an extended tour.
(Day 10) From Colmar we head to Sedan for our last night of a fab tour staying at the historic Hôtel Le Château Fort.
(Day 11) Sees us back home by Calais/Folkstone Eurotunnel.
Tuesday 19th December - Christmas dinner 2017
Hermanos Perez
Il Presidente requests the pleasure of your company on Tuesday 19th December at The Red Lion for the Annual Christmas Dinner and renewal of vows.
Non attendance will be seen as serious disrespect and miscreants will suffer consequences matching the misdemeanor including loss of club priviledges.
Meet promptly at 7:00 pm for dinner at 7:30 pm.
Change of Plan @ The Bike Shed (Sat 25th Nov)
Four of the brothers rolled on down to The Bike Shed for Saturday brunch and over the Full Bike Shed Breakfast some discussion of Summer Tour 2018 followed.
It turns out that our dates conflict with the Tour de Suisse cycling event running from Saturday June 9th to Sunday June 17th (daily stage dates). There will be significant road closures in the area and it seems a major rethink of the route is needed. The suggestion is that we might head more towards Northern Italy where we could take in the legendary (60 hairpins!) Stelvio Pass.
'Route Master' is working on a revised itinerary. Watch this space!
Club meeting Wednesday 1st November
The Hermanos Cojones assembled at the Bridge for liquid lubrication prior to continued discussions at the Spice of Night the favoured curry house.
The main topic under discussion was the Summer Tour 2018. There was enthusiasm for an Alpine destination offering some stunning mountain pass roads and beautiful scenery. A two centre option was put forward spending three days in one (possibly Andermatt, Switzerland) and two in another where the bikes can be unfettered and luggage free for some awesome riding. 'Road Master' is working on the plan and 'Black Sheep' will be keen to investigate accommodation options.
Some riders may prefer to ship their bikes out to somewhere like Geneva and options for this are being investigated. Others showed a preference for riding out from the UK perhaps adding a couple of days at either end of the trip.
There was some discussion of a potential new logo with a view to developing some custom clothing. Also some discussion of charity involvement with as yet inconclusive results.
Wednesday 1st November 2017 - Club meeting
To discuss plans for the Cojones summer tour 2018. Saturday 9th June to Saturday 16th June has been suggested and agreed as a good time for all.
The favoured plan is to aim for an Alpine centre, possibly Andermatt Switzerland and take daily rides hoping most passes will be open by this time of year .
No Knees & Rev have stayed in this simple but comfortable Alpine chalet style Hotel. It is bike friendly and has a garage. Many other hotels of all standards in the area. Early booking for hotels is recommended (essential) as Andermatt is something of a bikers Mecca!
Also under discussion: Club logo and charity support.
Autumn trip to Belgium and Luxembourg
Leaving by Le Shuttle from Folkstone to Calais on Friday 29th September 2017 and returning Monday 2nd October.
Arrived at Calais around 12:30 and headed straight out in good weather on the motorway A16 towards Ostend and then on E40 past Brussels and Liége to arrive at our hotel in Spa at 5:00 pm.
Saturday turned out to be the wet day as Andy lead us out to some scenic roads in the beautiful Ardennes. Total concentration required as a layer of wet leaves had annoyingly accumulated right in the breaking zone and through some tricky sweeping corners. We pressed on at a good pace and despite the odd twitch and slide arrived unscathed in Luxembourg having had an invigorating day.
Sunday started misty so vision was poor for the first part of the morning as we headed back into the Ardennes in Luxembourg, Germany and finally back into Belgium. It was not long before the sun came out and we experienced some of the most perfect dry well surfaced roads with sweeping left and right turns for mile after mile. Broad grins all round!
Our last night was spent in Leuven which boasts some fine medieval architecture as well as importantly being the home of Stella Artois!
On Monday that just left us with a quick blast back to Calais for the Shuttle and up the M20 for home by 5:00 pm.
Short, sweet and thoroughly enjoyed by all!
Thursday 13th July 2017 - Club meeting
Meeting at the Coach & Horses to discuss plans for 2018. The week from Saturday 9th June to Saturday 16th June was suggested and agreed as a good time for all.
The favoured plan is to aim for an Alpine centre and take daily rides out to the passes from there hoping that by this time of year most passes will be open.
Navidad 2016
Feliz Navidad hermanos Perez y buena montar en 2017
Los Cojones Bull Run 2017
Just 6 days until Los Cojones hit the road for the Bull Run 2017 and the excitement is mounting.
'Road Master' has finalised a superb scenic route with overnight stops at the cities listed in the itinerary below. The Pyrenean section, taking in Andorra, is looking magnificent! España aquí venimos.
Los Cojones Bull Run 2017
Friday 12/05/2017 Portsmouth Holiday Inn Express
Saturday 13/05/2017 Nantes Sozo Hotel Centre Gare
Sunday 14/05/2017 Bordeaux Pullman Bordeaux Lac
Monday 15/05/2017 Pamplona Gran Hotel La Perla
Tuesday 16/05/2017 Tramacastilla de Tena Hotel & Spa El Privilegio
Wednesday 17/05/2017 Andorra Andorra Park Hotel
Thursday 18/05/2017 Lourdes Grand Hôtel Gallia & Londres
Friday 19/05/2017 Cognac Hôtel François Premier Cognac Centre
Saturday 20/05/2017 Rennes Balthazar Hotel & Spa
Brittany Ferries
Portsmouth to Cherbourg Saturday 13 May 2017 – 09.00 (arrive 13.00)
Cherbourg to Portsmouth Sunday 21 May 2017 – 17.00 (arrive 19.00)
Thursday 2nd February 2017 - Club meeting
New Year meeting at the Perro Marrón. Current business and discussion of upcoming Cojones Pyrenees tour in May. Viva Espana.
Meet at 7:15 pm Chez Prez for dinner at 7:30 pm.
Navidad 2016
Feliz Navidad hermanos Perez y buena montar en 2017
Christmas dinner - on the night
On arrival we were greeted by live Christmas carols with many joining in the singing at the table.
No Christmas jumpers were present.
Some good natured disappointment was voiced at the non-appearance of No Knees.
Further discussion of commercial viability of a West London Bike Shed
Sadly Road Master received an urgent call during dinner from a family member and had to leave immediately to offer support.
Followed by an introspective discussion from Prez, Rev, Hands Off and Sergeant at Arms on death to end the evening on a rather somber note.
No Knees later received a severe reprimand from Rev Rupert for his misdemeanor.
Tuesday 20th December 2016 - Christmas dinner
Hermanos Perez
Il Presidente requests the pleasure of your company on Tuesday 20th December at The Olympic Members Restaurant for the Annual Dinner and Oath of Allegiance.
Non attendance will be seen as serious disrespect and miscreants will suffer consequences matching the misdemeanor including loss of club priviledges.
Meet at 7:45 pm for dinner at 8:15 pm.
Wednesday 16th November 2016 - Club meeting
By order of the Prez, Los Cojones were called to a meeting at the Club's favoured curry house on Wednesday 16th November to consider the proposed club T-shirt designed and produced by Road Master.
There was a near full attendance with the exception of 'Black Sheep' who was unavoidably detained with urgent choir practice commitments.
Members were uniformly impressed with the detail and quality of the T-shirt and unanimously agreed it should be adopted.